This really works (its not a joke - I have to say that because nobody believes me otherwise). Follow these instructions:

1. Load up your colour printer with the thickest paper or card that you have.

2. In a moment I will tell you to click here, once you have done that you will see a new page. Simply use your browser to print the page, then return back to these instructions. Ready now, then click here and print what you see (don't forget to come back here!).

3. Now wait for your ink to dry! If you don't you risk smudging the page.

4. If you can't wait for the ink to dry then simply put the page aside saying "and here is one I did earlier" and a perfectly dry page will magically appear from off camera.

5. Fold the printed page down the centre line that you see below the upside down cartoon (the paper will be roughly, but not quite, in half), so that the image is on the outside.

6. With the paper folded, carefully cut along the line at the top of the page (now below the cartoon) so that you cut through both layers of paper.

7. Lightly dust with icing sugar, serve in a brandy snap basket and charge a phenomenal price for it!

Congratulations, you now either have a beautiful Christmas card to send to your best friend, or a mangled pile of smudged paper cuttings to roll into a ball and play waste-paper-basket-ball with (and probably miss).

Repeat process for everyone you know.