INTERNAL MEMORANDUM
From: Tounc Culadar

To: Members of the Midnight Club.

Re: Halloween Party

Hello, or should I say Grrrr, to all members of the TeleCrumb Midnight Club. Last year we had a very successful Halloween party with many converts and an excellent feast. So we have decided to repeat the experience in the hope of enticing some more people to become members.

David Splinter Fould has allowed us the use of the Board Room in return for eternal life, this seems a favourable deal but must be put before a sub-committee downstairs.

The Boss has stated that we need to improve conversion effectiveness by 200%, otherwise we will be for the chop, again. Jane Curry from Marketing has a new poster campaign that should send disciples our way, this involves the usual 'never die', 'super strength', 'kill the ones you hate without guilt' and 'look good in leather trousers' messages. In addition the member who has the most conversions at the party will receive a prize of "All you can eat of the Accounts Department".

I am sure you will not have failed to notice the recent high-profile Anti-Court case in which it was deemed illegal to eat Jeremy Paxman on the grounds that we can only feast on beings with a soul. This has implications for the club as it could mean that we can no longer rely on The Board as a legal hunting ground.

Finally, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE remember that the clocks go back on Saturday. Last year we lost three members at dawn when they forgot to reset their alarms.

Keep sucking, yours unfaithfully,

Tounc.


We would all like to believe that the Midnight Club is fictitious, but have you seen the size of the teeth on the bloke in the cubicle opposite you. Notice how he always wears sunglasses in doors, and of course how is it that a man with such a huge beer gut can look so cool in leather trousers? Grrrrrrrrr....