Who is Dr.Dudd?

I was born in Macclesfield in 1903, the son of a grocer. My childhood was unremarkable, other than the fact that my parents abandoned me when I was seven. I was bought up in a dogs home by a kindly spaniel, until one day the owner of the home found out about me and threw me out, aged fifteen. Sparky and I never saw each other again. At sixteen I witnessed a hideous crime that was perpetrated by the Don of an Oxbridge college. My life at university was varied, as I had much catching up to do because I could neither read nor write. I discovered a liking for invention and set about creating all manner of useful machinery - such as the hovercraft and RADAR. I found it difficult to get employment after leaving Oxbridge because I find it almost impossible not to lie, and by then I had run out of favours from the Don who had now become Chief Constable of Misborough. So now I host this web site (I invented the Internet you know). Its a fairly miserable existence, and they don't let me appear in the cartoons (they say I have a depressing air that makes people want to chew their left arm off), but I get paid and that helps to finance my inventions.

People ask me if its a coincidence that my name, Rabies, is the same as the town in which I was born. The truth of the matter is that my parents didn't name me for five years, but one day decided I needed one because saying "oi you" was confusing the cat. So looking around the room they tried "Litter Tray", "Castlemaine XXXX", "Fat Git" and "My God That Is  A Huge Pustule On Your Nose" before settling on "Rabies Advertiser".

I met Mrs.Dudd in a bar room brawl in Sheffield in 1969. As always, she won, and we set up home on the income from her arm wrestling contests in the local pubs around the city. We have three children, but I put them down somewhere and now I can't find them.

What is this site all about?

The suave, debonair, sophisticated and handsome chap (look, I just earned £10 for that plug, this is easy money) that does all of the cartoons and builds this web site has been unleashed on the world to cause havoc (whoops, there goes the tenner!). For this idiot of a man (might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb) really thinks he can swap the delights of meetings, reports, justifications and the fantasy world of budgets, for a cushy little number doing a few cartoons and raking in a packet from goodness knows where! He is paying me, so for now I'll stick with this whole sorry excuse for a change of life.

Lucky for me, this cartooning bloke likes to bring a little smile into people's lives (I can't think why, I'd prefer a little Anthrax in your lives myself - and I don't mean the heavy metal group). So although the poor deluded git wants to let you see the fruits of his labour and hopefully enjoy...

How does the site it work?

Well you have managed to get to this page, so you must have some little clue as to how to drive a web site.

By the magic of computers, you use your moose and keyboard (Roland or Yamaha are best) to click on buttons and things. The the whole screen changes and you get all worried, but it comes good in the end and you see cartoons and jokes and stuff. To really enjoy you need to lots of moose clicks and stay in the site for several days. You will also notice adverts and stuff, it is REALLY important to click on those, and sign up for the services they offer, only by doing this can you hope to enter heaven (Luke Chapter 1, verse 23b, sub-section 4).

The site has a "cartoon of the day" updated every weekday (when health allows) on the main page and several cartoon and joke sections accessed by buttons down the left hand side. Once the "cartoon of the day" becomes old hat, it gets moved into the cartoon archive. All cartoons get entered into the cartoon database that you can search by entering key words.

A bit about the cartoons.

Images are drawn freehand and scanned in. To allow a good wad of pictures on the site the resolution has to be kept pretty low. Colour does not scan well, apologies for that. There are a few computer generated images (using the latest technology like Windows Paint).

The site will be evolving over time, and the cartoonist will be trying out new ideas as they come to me, so please keep watching and e-mail us about anything you like or dislike.

If you want any more information then try your local Citizens Advice Bureau, because you'll get nothing more out of me (unless of course you are willing to pay).